


Tracing Broken Lines

by ziamsfiery



Category: One Direction (Band)
Genre: Angst and Hurt/Comfort, M/M, Pining
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-07-18
Updated: 2019-07-18
Packaged: 2020-07-07 20:07:21
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: Major Character Death
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,132
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/19857283
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/ziamsfiery/pseuds/ziamsfiery
Summary: “How am I going to fix myself now if the one who used to help me fixing myself left me? Where am I going to start?”Zayn sighed, pointing his index finger on Harry’s clothed chest, near on his heart’s location before speaking. “You need to start it from here.”





	Tracing Broken Lines

**Author's Note:**

> First ever Larry fanfic and it's kind of angsty, or least I thought. Tell me what you think about it! :)

Harry stared at the photo hanging on his wall for a while, his heart and mind debating whether to take it away or not. Yes or no, he thought. In the end, there he is, discovering himself taking away other things that might remind him of his boyfriend, Louis. 

Putting all his things in a large brown box, Harry decided to roam around the house for a while, trying to take away all of the things that could make him remember the Doncaster lad, which, made him do it successfully, or at least he hope.

This would be the last time he’ll remember him. Enough for the heart break.

Harry glanced at the pillows on his bed. Before, Louis used to lay his head down in all these pillows, making Harry remember his scent. The smell of his perfume still lingers in the air as if Louis just went here last night. He swore he have heard faint noises of Louis calling him. Harry sighed. This isn’t what he like. This isn’t what he wants to happen. The green-eyed lad stared at the nightstand. Louis’ picture was there – in the wooden frame – flashing his genuine smile; making Harry’s heart clench, not fully aware of the tears silently wetting his cheeks.

He pulled his phone, calling Zayn.

“Zayn, I can’t do this.”

Zayn silently looked at his best mate, trying to calm himself, facing a hot cup of tea the Bradford made after he arrived at the flat. 

Harry lets out a quiet sob, eyeing and playing the ring on his index finger. He’s not ready to do this. He’s not. He silently wants to get mad at Louis for leaving him, for making him miserable. He thought that soul mates won’t hurt each other? Louis swore he wouldn’t break the Cheshire lad’s heart when he proposed to him, a few months ago. 

Harry thought that it’s a fairy tale; that they’ll have a happily ever after.

“Mate, you don’t have to do it if you can’t, you know,” Zayn decided to break the silence, moving beside Harry and wrapping his slender arms around Harry’s shoulder. The jet-black haired lad tried to make things okay, though it’s not going to be – he knows that. 

Since Louis left, this Harry isn’t the cheerful and always smiling Harry Edward that they knew before. His emerald eyes lost its shine and glow, and his lips never curved up in a smile, never again. He always seems tired, angry and devastated all the time. 

“We talked about this last week, right? No more forcing yourself on forgetting Louis if you’re not ready. I mean, you don’t need to punish yourself more, Harry.”

Harry slowly lifted his head and looks at his best mate. “I already get used to this since Louis left me, Zayn.”

“Exactly. When are you going to stop yearning to a person you know who’ll never get back to you again?” 

Of course, Zayn wouldn’t understand. Even though he kept on convincing Harry that he understand his situation, he knows that he don’t get it at all. Zayn and Harry are ultimate best friends – as well as their boyfriends Liam and Louis, making the world around them look smaller, with Niall tagging along, they already have this small group wherein they could treat each other like brothers. 

Zayn knows a lot about Harry’s secrets, they swore that no one will leave each other’s side during dark times and that time is currently overtaking on his curly best friend’s life.

Zayn wanted to get mad at Louis. He wants to punch the hell out of him for doing this shit to his best friend. So why propose if you can’t even marry that person in the end? For a cliché movie, Zayn would just let Harry date anyone else and get over with his life, but it’s not that easy.

“I love Louis so much, Zayn. You know that. H-He’s my rock, he’s my everything. I couldn’t live without him and I hate myself for this. I want to regret the day that I met him, I want to get mad to him for making me fall in love with him every single day. Those shared touches, kisses and sweet nothings are absolutely terrible,” Harry began sobbing again; tears couldn’t stop falling on his puffy eyes and doesn’t care if he stained his favorite shirt with his hot, wet tears. “I want to forget all of it. But why the hell I can’t? Fuck, he promised he’ll never leave. He promises he’ll take me up to that altar; we’re going to have kids of our own, Zayn. He fucking promised everything of it and he’s not even here!”

The Bradford lad tightened his grip on his best friend, pulling Harry closer to him and not even making a single comment how the curly-haired bloke stains his shirt because today isn’t a good time to mention this. 

Harry needs a shoulder to cry on and he’s giving him that. “Shh, I know. He’s an asshole for doing that to you, love. You don’t deserve anything of this but yeah, you just love someone who promises you forever.”

“Funny to think that I fell hard, yeah,”

“I seriously want to smack you for being so stupid and crazy in love,” Zayn mock-scolded, petting Harry’s tamed curls and kisses his forehead gently. “But kidding aside though, you need to heal soon from this heartbreak, Harry. I know it’s hard but you need to. Look at you, mate. This isn’t healthy for you anymore.”

“How am I going to fix myself now if the one who used to help me fixing myself left me? Where am I going to start?”  
Zayn sighed, pointing his index finger on Harry’s clothed chest, near on his heart’s location before speaking. “You need to start it from here.”

After hours of debating on his inner self again and breaking a couple of glass wares, Harry finally have the courage to do the task he never have the chance to finish. With a deep sigh, the Cheshire lad finally walks in to the shared bedroom of him and Louis. 

He let his feet take him to the carpeted floor, reminiscing how Louis randomly play wrestling with him on the same ground, his high-pitched laughter suddenly fills the room when Harry just let him do whatever he wants; how Louis tried to braid Harry’s hair and messed it up after he kept on saying he’s giving up and how Louis kept on saying he loves him so much… everything happened in this place, where Harry’s currently standing. 

It hurts so much that Harry just want to break down and scream for Louis’ name, hoping that the shorter lad will come back, dropping on his knees and pulling him into a tight hug and feeling his warmth. It hurts to think that your home, the one whom you felt you’re safe, isn’t here to make things right.

Harry looks around a bit, his eyes catching few boxes stuffed beside the closet. Those boxes contain Louis’ things, his favorite books and collections of sneakers filled those up, and Harry doesn’t want to look at it, even a second. He could just give it or throw it away. Maybe he’ll give those back to Jay? He doesn’t know. He’ll figure about that later.

Glancing at the bed, he started to work. He started to put off the bed sheets and… when’s the last time he dared to change the sheets? Right, exactly five months since Louis left him. The sheets mean a lot to him, he’s sure about that. These sheets held a lot of memories from Harry and Louis’ relationship. This sheet witnessed how Louis told Harry he first love him; this sheet witnessed how Harry lost his virginity to Louis, how Louis cuddled his taller boyfriend during lazy Sunday mornings and this is the exact bed sheet they’re using when Louis proposed to him. Pretty historical, yes. 

And Harry doesn’t need to remember those things again. Zayn’s right. He needs to get over with the drama feeding on him. 

Harry’s about to get done when a sheet of folded paper landed on his feet. Raising an eyebrow, he began thinking what the letter would be and why it is on the bed at the first place. The curly lad took the paper, unfolding it carefully, only revealing that it contains Louis’ careful handwriting. Harry instantly teared up upon seeing it, Louis wrote this letter way back and Harry doesn’t even have the clue where and when did he do this. Louis is pretty smart.

Harry,

I know that time comes and you’ll be seeing this letter. I wonder when are you going to read this so I think I need to hide my ass after because if you sneak while I’m writing this, you’ll instantly know where did I hide it. 

To you, my love, I don’t want to make it long but I think that I have to since it’ll be the first and last time I’m going to write a letter. You know I’m not a traditional person, Harold, mind you. And you must be lucky because I had to do this for you. So, well, let’s start?

Six years ago I met a curly-haired lad at Cirque Le Soir, and his emerald-green eyes captivated me in an instant. Liam knows it, he reads me like a fucking book. I know that he’s just joking when he said that we’ll end up together someday. Man, he must be a fortune teller because wow, we actually did. I never thought you’ll return my affection and love me just the way I love you.

Remember the day we actually started living together? That’s the most memorable day of my life. I finally get the chance to see you, to wake up beside you, to kiss, hug and hold the person I love the most – and it’s you, Harry. I will treasure the memories we shared every day. I will never forget how your voice soothes me; I will never forget how your strong and lean arms hold me whenever I’m scared and alone… how your smiles brighten up my day and your advices that really matters to me. Harry, I’m so lucky to have you in my life. I want to marry you someday and maybe, have kids with you.

Time flies so fast. And we’re still going strong. But you know what? They say that there’s always an obstacle in the course of the relationship, testing the two of you to prove how strong you two are. I can’t find the words how to say this to you but in this way, I think I’ll be finally able to do it. Last week, I had an appointment with my doctor. Liam forced me to because he noticed how shit I looked at the office. I looked like a zombie and it’s not really good to see. I tried to put up my fakest smile in front of you, saying that I’m fine when I’m not. When I want to bang my head on the wall just to stop the pain inside my head, I tried to make and look alright because I don’t want you to worry about me. Well, I’m right. The doctor said I have a brain cancer. 

Harry, I know I’m going to leave you soon. I’m sorry to hurt you in this way. I’m sorry that I won’t ever see your handsome face again, your smile, your dimples and your adorable eyes. I won’t see those things again when my time to leave this world finally comes. I don’t want to close my eyes. I want to hold you for the rest of my life but I can’t now. I want to whisper words in your ears that I love you, I’ll always will, Harry. You’re always in my heart. 

I want you to be happy. That matters to me. 

I love you so much. Till we meet again.

Louis. x

Harry stared at the letter, tears started to well up on his eyes again. He misses Louis and this letter answered all his questions from the past. All those anger, disappointment and grief finally disappeared after he read Louis’ letter. Damn, why is he so stupid all the time? Louis just wants his happiness that even before his death, he wants the younger lad to find one and get his life.

“Louis, you’re an idiot,” he mumbled, wiping the fresh tears on his cheeks as he looked at the letter once again, folding it back nicely. “Maybe you’re right. You really want me to be happy so I’ll do it for you. Don’t worry. You’re always in my heart too.”


End file.
